Kooduh

MacGruber's C.A.M.P.

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Posted (edited)

Typically under normal circumstances, as normal a circumstance as the wacky wasteland would allow, watching MacGruber waylay an aggressor was mesmerizing, and to much extent a down right turn-on.  However, in this instance, it's very different, scary if you will.  Genie just froze and gawked at the wildman she thought she knew, but she does not know this man before them, smashing the literal crap out of the critter.  

"Oh my" was all she could muster as she grabbed TA with both arms, Bowie knife pointing toward MacGruber now.

TA and Genie huddled there in a tight embrace, both hoping he wouldn't turn on them.

"Stop! Stop, Mack! Yer scare'n us!". Genie pleaded.

For "F" sake he killed the beast with just the club, what could he do to two ladies if he lost "it" completely.

Edited by Joe Fliptov

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Posted (edited)

T.A. was still confused as to what was going on as she struggled to get her glasses back on her face. Much as she loved being in Genie's warm embrace, she could tell that Genie was downright terrified which was something that Genie never - ever - seemed to be in T.A.'s experience. Furthermore, Genie seemed to be scared of - of all things - MacGruber. MacGruber, the kindest, gentlest man she had ever known. A man, granted, holding a bloody club and with a wild look in his eyes right now.

Once her glasses were firmly on her face, T.A. gently removed herself from Genies suffocating embrace and reaching out to MacGruber asking in a calming voice, "Mr. MacGruber? Ya remember me, Tara Aubree Murrow, T.A. to my friends which y'all are undoubtedly are. Why don't ya just hand me the club now that the beastie is quite dead so ya ain't scaring us so much, okay?"

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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Posted (edited)

He stopped when Genie demanded it, he'd do anything for his friends.

Blood, and entrails of an unidentifiable critter dripped off the  rocket powered Clubbie.  The carcass was reduced to a fattened bloody pancake, its blood muddied the rocky scorched earth. When TA spoke MacGruber's bloodied face went from a horrific sinister craze, to a slacked softened gaze into her eyes, just before changing to a grimace  of pain.

The club dropped to the ground.  One hand gripped his belly, the other pulled at his hair.

With a gravely, harsh whisper, "Inside-Hurt" ... "Head-Hurt" 

Looking down at the raw flesh brought moisture to his dry gravely throat.  He though, 'maybe if i eat some i feel better'.

MacGruber fell to his knees, hastily pulling off grips of well tenderized raw meat, then stuffed a handful in his mouth.  He chewed on it as the blood drizzled off his crimson stained beard.

"Nom-nom-nom", He made yummy sounds, then spoke with his mouthful... 

"Betthah, mah thrrrt, was suh dry",  He rubbed his belly in a circle, "Tummy too"

Edited by Kooduh

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When TA wiggled in her arms, Genie realised her grip may have been little overboard. "Oh, sorry" She let her go, and said sheepishly, feeling embarrassed by the display of emotion.

While trying to fine her attitude, she could only nodded in agreement to TA's coercion of the crazy Mack.  She tried to gain some composure. 

"What the hell is wrong with me" Genie thought, "So damned emotional.". She despised herself for it.

She put her knife away, rose to her feet, with a stern look on her face,  twisting her long brown hair into a knot on top of her head.  She said sarcasticly to try and gain some emotional footing,

"Marvelous, now we have our very own Scorched Cannibal MacGruber on our side.  Nothing can stop us now"

Too engrossed in her own problems, she kinda missed some of the conversation, but got the jist after seeing the disgusting sight of him all bloody, and munching on raw meat. She tried to be tough and not show how grossed out she was.

Fighting back a gag reflex, Genie announced,. "We gotta get to the medical center, ASAP"

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T.A. watched Genie putting her long brown hair up, exposing the back of her neck to T.A.'s longing gaze. More than anything, T.A. wished she could just nuzzle the back of Genie's neck, kissing its base as the teenager gently removed her tunic and continued kissing her shoulder down to her - but no, there was no time for such thoughts!

Fighting her own gag reflex, the teen medic carefully grabbed MacGruber's arm and helped him to his feet saying calmly, "Time to go Mr. MacGruber! We need to get you and Genie some help, yes we do!"

Still as Genie led the way, T.A. couldn't keep her wide green eyes away from staring at the bare base of Genies neck as she led MacGruber down the path.

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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Genie lead her pair of beloved friends onward.  Without realizing it, she had become her mother, focused on the objective at hand, saving her friends, saving her Vault, and selfishly saving herself.  The words of her ex-father rang in her head, "...she has the interest of the dwellers at heart".

Bitterness welled up in her heart, she said out loud, accidentally. "What crock of shit...oops". She glanced back at TA and Mack to see if they heard.  MacGruber's dumbfounded bloody face indicated he did not as he was drooling on himself.

She pressed on as the self appointed leader of the pack, coughing now, from the sooty air of the ash heap in which they traversed.

Normally now would be a good time to clean weapons, make any necessary repairs, cleanup, eat, rest.  The fact there was no time for that was pissing her off.  The fact that the damned scorched plague has killed the Doctor, and now threated to take her friends, boiled her blood.

Several minutes of stewing about stuff and pressing on up the mountain, they were all being affected more and more from the ash in the air. Genie stopped, took a red bandana from her small backpack.  She wetted it with pure water and tied it around her face to cover her nose and mouth.  Then she offered TA to do the same with her only other bandana. A stars&stripes one, her favorite one.  She regarded the bandana, then wetted it.  She turned TA around by her slight shoulders, then produced a bobbie pin, pinned TA's hair forward on her head so that it swooped over her face.

"Tee-hee" Genie giggled. "That's cute with the one side shaved"

She drapped the red, white, and blue bandana over TA's nose, then pulled the ends over her ears and tied the knot.  Gently she made sure the cloth was not too tight, but secure enough to stay on.

"There ya go hun, it's not a gas mask but it'll help" Genie looked to MacGruber, "Sorry bud, ladies first, you understand. Right?"

Genie glanced around squinting her eyes to surveil the area again.  They were near the top now, not far from a giant machinery perched dormant over looking the area.  Now they were halfway from where they started, and the medical center.  She could detect movement in an old shanty nearby.  She pointed that out to TA with her lips puckered to one index finger.

"Shhhh"

Genie whispered "I swear if theey notice us theey're gitten 308's in the face.  We can't mess around though.  We need to keeep movin' to AVR ASAP"

Not where the abbreviations came from all of a sudden, she hated it when her mother did that.  She wrinked her nose at herself for a second, but ultimately shrugged it off.

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T.A. merely smiled sweetly as Genie adjusted the bandanna on her face, being too tired to really talk from the pace they were traveling at. However, knowing the life threatening danger her two friends were under from the scorch beast's radiation poisoning of them both, the teenager was loath to slow them down. Of the three, T.A.'s endurance was the poorest, being more cerebral than physical, still she would press on silently and without complaint until she dropped. She was that determined to be strong for her two friends.

As they stopped for Genie to survey the dangerous terrain, T.A. frowned seeing the dried blood and drool on MacGruber's face so she took out her white laced handkerchief with a little boiled water poured on it and washed off his face, saying calmly in a low voice to him, "There ya go Mr. MacGruber, ya look much more presentable now. Don't want ya scaring the locals now, do we?"

When Genie pointed out the shanty and presented her assessment of it, T.A. nodded her blonde tousled head in agreement. Grabbing MacGruber's hand so he wouldn't wander away, she followed Genie though the dangerous landscape wondering what could of changed the area this radically. She wondered if maybe it was because of over strip mining or even too much fraking but she didn't know what not being her area of expertise. She only knew this land was ugly and devoid of life making her miss the green forests around Vault 76.

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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Posted (edited)

MacGruber let TA wash his face.  It made him happy, he grinned big despite the discomfort in his insides. 

"Thank you."  He smiled.  "When is it time to eat? ...I'm hungry again"

He was out of food already for he had chowed it all down as they walked.

Suddenly, up ahead in the rickety shanty shack, there was a clamor of battle.  Or of someone big winning a battle, rather.

MacGruber sprung into "Hero Mode".  *Dun-dah-dah-Duuuh* music played in his head.  His all powerful Clubbie swooshed into sight, and the flame burst to light in its trail as he ran.  TA's grip on his hand could not stop him.  In a half a second he had already approached the door to shack.  

Inside there was certainly a fight that had already ended.  An extra large green guy had just finished bludgeoning to death four short stocky hairy mole looking guys.  Apparently signal handed, if you don't count that one hand held a small log with a chunk of concrete on the end, seamed to be his weapon of choice, who else could even lift it.

"Huhmm? Mmmm. Moleman meat" The large green man said with a gruff and gravely voice, "Moo-moo get good caps for Moleman stuff, but meat for Meeee"

Something about the big green guy's tone, and maybe the facial expression, MacGruber felt somehow akin to the big feller.  He stopped to study him, but didn't lower his clubbie.

"Squish-squish, Pop-pop, Crush-crush.  This is the GOOOD life"  The gravely, yet somewhat goofy, harsh voice of the green giant boomed from inside the shack. "NO Murder you, no murder meee.  Just want trade, with NO murrder."

"I'm hungry!" MacGruber blurted out the thing foremost on his mind.

Then he was distracted by the large two headed beast that rounded the corner.  A clunky bell rang and the beast said, "Mmmmm-Mooooo"

It reminded him of the dumpster lady, he looked around for her, confused. 

Edited by Kooduh

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Posted (edited)

"Oh NO!" T.A. exclaimed when MacGruber broke her hold on his hand, only slowing in her pursuit of him long enough to give a double take at the sight of the large two-headed Brahim packed to the brim with goods outside the shack.

As the teen medic followed MacGruber into the shack where he was facing the huge green man, a look of horror crossed T.A.'s freckled face as she fumbled her tricentennial pistol out her shoulder holster dropping it before blurting, "Please don't eat me!"

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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Annoyed that she was annoyed, Genie was growing weary of the constant barrage of challenges, personal, environmental, or otherwise.  As her two pals tottle off aimlessly into the shanty.  She tried not to let her frustration show in her body language, or voice.

"Nowww What?"  She stomped up closer for a look, then stood a couple yards from the front entry behind TA.  With hand on hip, that hip curved exaggerated into her hand, and her breasts pushed forward.  The other hand held her rifle relaxed pointing to the rocky  ground.  She tapped a toe on the barren earth, as if waiting for something.  "I have half a mind to just let you's all just get smooshed"  She said upon seeing the hunk of a man with the chunk of house foundation  slung over his shoulder. 

She moaned audibly.  "Mmmm"

"Hey big fella,  Is that a log in your hand, or are ya just happy to see me?"  She said seductively to the giant green hunk. 

Edited by Joe Fliptov

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MacGruber stood still in place, dumb founded why the big wasn't smashing them, but also still wonder if he had any food.  "I hundreez, gots any foods?"  He asked.  Something in his simple mind prevented him from being scared.

The green giant regarded the odd trio,  the hairy one seemed pretty smart to him, the puny yellow headed one seamed skiddish...and clumsy.  The  grownup human woman seamed like she could be the most trouble.  He scoffed at them with a gruff , "Grrff, "  He announce to the rag tag party,

"Grahm’s and Chally the Moo Moo’s fair trades.  We find you, you trade fair, or DIE.  Guar-ant-eed!" 

MacGruber broke out in laughter "Hahaha, you funny guy, Hahaha."

 

 

Edited by Kooduh

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"Wait, you're a Trader, Mr. Grahm?" Asked T.A. bending lady-like at the knees to pick up her pistol by the handle with two finger, placing it securely back in its shoulder holster. "What do you trade? Foodstuffs maybe?"

T.A. was thinking that if Grahm had some processed food to trade for, maybe she could get enough to change MacGruber's diet away from raw flesh to a more normal fare

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Grahm, now happy to be passed the typical, "don't murder me!" plea which came with the formalities of meeting new humans, and on to the trading portion of the encounter.  He thought for a second, "Huummm, food..."  His face brightened as he began with his list.

"Trading foods we have are fried meat, dry meat, roast meat, char meat, skewer meat, squissshy meat, Kcrispy meat, fissshy meat, … stiiinky meat, rotten meat, icky meeeat, ground meat, seasoned meat, salty meat, slimy meat, sticky meat, sug-gary meat, meeeatyy meeeat,,, chewwwy meat, gAy-mee meat, faatty meat, frOzen meat. Burnt meat, spicy meat, chopped meeeat, stringgy meat, red meat, horny meat, mashed meat, PEPPERED Meat.  Did i miss any MooMoo?"

Chally the Moo Moo seamed to understand, oddly enough, and replied, "mmmmmMroooooo?"

Even more odd Grahm seemed to understand the "Mooooo"  which just sounded like "Mooooo" to them, but apparently a simple "Mooooo" carried more meaning than meets the untrained ear.  Grahm replied, "Uhh? Greeens? Ooohhh yeah, and green stuff for MooMoo. *chuckle*  "Huuhuuhuu"
 

During Grahm's recital of meats on the menu, Mr. MacGruber found it difficult to stay focused on the many things to remember.  Something else piqued his interest, Milk.  Mr. MacGruber was distracted and found himself flat on his back under the utters of Ms. Chally the Moo Moo, squeezing the teets to squirt warm steams of fresh Brahman milk into his mouth.  Well, mostly in the mouth, some on the ground, a lot in the beard, the first one in the eye, but yeah ... mostly in the mouth.  "Noom, nom, nom"  Yummy sounds ensued as MacGruber lapped up the hot creamy fluid.

"Muuuurrrrrooooo"  Chally complained slightly. 

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"Uhh, yeah.  No thanks, sorry. I'm with Shelly Two Heads on this one".  Genie proclaimed after hearing the list of meats, then deciding, some where around 'fishy meat', vegetarian sounds doable. "Greens it is then"

All the while in saying all that she, observed MacGruber showering himself under the utters of the beast.

"I mean, why buy the cow, if yah gettin' the milk for free"  She said, hoping the milk was indeed free.  "Know what I'm saying, uhh big guy" She concluded with a suggestive wink towards the jolly green merchant.

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"Yeah, greens would be good but... what do we trade. We need all we got for survival," Queries T.A. with a frown, then a smile quickly replaces it as she takes something from her backpack and hands it towards Graham.

"How much greens will this get? It's made of genuine cherry wood," T.A. asks holding forward with both hands her father's cane.

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"Need two things to trade... Stuff...  Someone to trade with... Simple"  Grahm answered plainly, then stood where he stood regarding the hairy human.  MooMoo and he have never disgust the price for the milk, and it was actually a chore to preform the milking every morning.

"MoooOooo," Chally the Moo Moo's left head said.  Chally the Moo Moo's right head lifted from snacking on the dry shrubbery it discovered at the corner of the shack. "MerrOooooo"  The right head said, as if in response to the left.

"Moo Moo say milking is fair trade for milk."  Grahm didn't dare question the decision, so he didn't argue, she is the boss.

Mr. MacGruber seamed to not hear the conversation while he continued to get his fill of fresh creamy Brahman milk. 

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Posted (edited)

Genie walked up next to TA, "Tara Aubree, you will not..."  She said to her pushing the walking cane back to her. "..." Genie ended her sentence there, and walked passed TA as she reached up to her head and plucked a bobbie pin which it's sole duty was to hold the mass of long brown hair bundled on top her head.  Her long mane flowed over her shoulders and fell to her slender back, she shook out her hair, seemingly in slow motion.  As she did she looked back a TA with a maniacal smirk, then puckered her full lips and kisses the air towards TA.

"Here goes nothing, hope this works on a green dude" She thought in her head as she prepared herself, hoping by some form of female telepathy, TA would see the method in her madness.  She also wished she had time to change into that sequin red dress she found.

Genie approached, walking on her tippy toes, also wishing she had heels, that would have went nicely with the sequin red dress she also was not wearing. "Oh gawd, this is going to be a disaster" she thought just before arriving in front of the trader.

She gripped Graham's bicep with both hands, her hands dwarfed against his bulging muscle.  His arm so massive, like a tree truck.

She moaned audibly, trying to sound sexy, even though she didn't feel sexy per se.

"Mmmm, A hard man is good to find."

Genie looked up at the towering hulk, with innocence in her liquidy brown eyes.  She said in the softest tone she could muster, "Hey big boy," She winked, not shying away from his hardened gaze, "Perhaps there are, Three, things for trade,"  Genie ran a hand down the side of her bust and down her abs. "You forgot about... Services". Pausing for effect before saying "Services" seductively.

Still talking in the low tone, and not changing her body language she continued, "By services I mean, you guide us to the AVR Medical Center, and when we come out alive You's, Grahm and Moo-moo, get all the loot, and a supply of rare innoculation serum to save All the poor dieing humans.". She stretched up on her tippy toes to try to reach his ear.

She moistened her lips with a slow swath of there tongue, then whispered alluringly up to him, "Think about it"

She turned on her heel to walk back to TA, then winked at her.

"And don't take all day,"  She demanded, dropping the tantalizing tone now. "A little hint, big fella, if all the humans die... No more "someone to trade with" in your little trade equation"

"Come on girls, we got ground to cover if we want to save humanity"

Genie announced harshly, as she headed back to the trail north.  Hoping to force the traders hand.

Edited by Joe Fliptov

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Posted (edited)

A blush crept up T.A.'s swan like neck and into her freckled cheeks when Genie threw a kiss her way, but it only grew redder and her glasses fogged up once Genie began flirting with the super mutant. When Genie mentioned "a hard man" and "services," T.A. almost fainted thinking, "Genie, no! He'll split you in two like an ax does a log!"  However, as Genie explained what she meant by service, T.A. uttered a sigh of relief.

When Genie walked back to her and winked, T.A. could only smile and shake her blonde tousled head in disbelief, thinking to herself, "Y'all are one of a kind Genie! And that's a good thing!"

But when Genie headed back up the trail north, T.A. followed, still shaking her head, only turning to shout, "Mr. MacGruber, time's a wasting!  We're going - NOW!"

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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"Moooooooo",   In stereo, both of the Chally heads, Moo 1 and Moo 2, called out as she trombled after Genie and TA as if  she was included as one of the "girls".

Grahm seemed to not be effected by the human woman's show, but he couldn't argue with the reasoning.

"Moo Moo go with?"  Grahm asked, "Guess it make sense, and fair trade"  Really he was thinking he's getting the better part of the deal, all he had to do was walk a direction he was already walking, and smash creatures that don't want to shop.  "Simple" he thought, "What could go wrong?"

 

Mr. MacGruber hopped up, and ran to catch up.  He wiped his sleeve across his milky beard, which did nothing to clean the buttery cream since Vault-tec suits suits are non absorbent.  "Wait for me!"

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Genie's heart was practically pounding out of her chest.

'holy shit! i can't believe you just did that! what were you thinking!' she screamed at herself, internally. 

Internally she was freaking out, while outwardly she maintained a steady pace, trying with all her might to keep her walk confident looking.

Genie's stomach growled at her.

*Grrrrr*

"Shoosh, you". She punched at her tight belly. "We'll eat after..."  She said aloud to her hunger pains, not realizing she had said it.  

Genie pressed on hoping she didn't make a mistake, hoping her gamble with Mr. Grahm pays off.  So hungry. She knew she could trade something for a snack, but her plan included keeping him interested enough to keep following.   

She forced a quick glance back, 'Good, he's following' She thought to herself.

'So freaking hungry', 'damn it', but she was unwilling to admit she may be experiencing "symptoms", telling herself it's just normal hungry, not sick hungry, it's the adrenaline rush talking.  Just need to get to the center for the medicine.

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T.A. poured some water from her canteen on her handkerchief and washed MacGruber's mouth and chin as they walked. Once she was assured that he as well as the big green super mutant and his two headed pack animal were following, T.A. picked up her pace so that she was walking next to Genie. The teenager just walked in silence by Genie for some ten minutes looking at her side wise with big green eyes.

Finally speaking, T.A. confessed to Genie with sincerity, "I really admire you Genie. I couldn't have done what you did back there in a million years. I mean... Grahm could have killed ya with one swipe of his big fist and... it scares me silly thinking what if he thought y'all were offering some other kind of services than what ya were. He certainly could have given... um... your words and your body language."

The familiar red blush went up T.A.'s thin neck into her freckled cheeks at the mere thought of what could have happened and which, truth-to-tell, was a bit of a turn-on for the young girl as she added, "You're sooo confident Genie - and sooo fearless too! I wish... I wish I was more like you."

Suddenly T.A. saw a futuristic building of several stories in the distance and pointing at it with one thin forefinger, the teen medic asked Genie, "Is that our destination?"

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"It's a gift - and a curse"  Genie explained.  "It's all for show, I mean, uhm, like maybe a calculated risk, maybe"  She stumbled over the explanation, not having had to explain it before.  "I guess early on i realized when i turn on the "Heat" guys, uhh, don't think so clear.  I don't go into planning on giving anything up, just make them think i will. Yah know?  In fact I never...uhh..."  Genie got flustered, and kind of developed a blush of her own.  "...Uhh, Nevermind."  She said abruptly. 

"Shit, that building is ugly"  Changing the subject, "I always hated that color of blue, err, green". 

The AVR Medical Center was in an area on the edge of the burned up land, and the foresty land.  The group approached from the side of the building in the south.  They could see a parking area to their right, where the front of the build is.  A red roofed awning/foyer building is at the front of the building sticking out like a sore thumb.  Almost literally, the red roof clashed awfully with the teal paint of the rest of the facility, however the practical purpose of the red was to show that it is the Urgency Care entrance.  Above the red roof was a lattice tower with a large iconic medical cross indicating they have indeed arrived at the correct location.  Also an indicator, a burnt out ambulance parked in front of the emergency entrance, further indication was the half a dozen scorched people milling around the entrance, another half dozen statue-ized scorched people, and worse several dozed bleached skeletons of people that the facility could not help.

"Green, Blue, What are you? Can't stand a color that can't make up it's mind"  She went on about the color.  "Why?  It isn't bad enough there's scorched people roaming around outside, the color has to be...Teal?"  She wrinkled her nose, and grimaced at the word. "Gross"

Genie stopped walking, crouched down while looking back to see if the posse was coming, Chally, Grahm, and last but not least MacGruber were on there way, several yards away yet.  "Sorry.  We'll wait to make a plan.  TA, I can't really think straight right now, I don't know where my head is."  Genie bopped the side of her head on the heel of her hand, as if to knock out the cobwebs and dust.

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T.A. frowned realizing that they were running out of time. The teen medic knew that it was only a matter of time before MacGruber and Genie succumbed to the Scorched disease. She reached out to Genie's hand with her thin right hand giving it a quick but gentle squeeze of reassurance.

T.A. glanced backwards at MacGruber seeing he was in just as bad a shape as Genie if not worse before advising Genie with a forced smile of confidence she didn't feel, "I think we better get that lab as fast as possible. Looking at the outside, I'm a betting we're gonna have some Scorched resistance.  Do y'all have the location of the lab we want so we can make a beeline for it?"

Then the smile became genuine as the teenager asked, "But before we go Genie - you never done what?

Edited by T. A. Murrow

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Chally, excited for the adventure, caught up to the girls first.  She walked up behind the two, Moo 1 and Moo 2 simultaneously nudged a slimy wet snout into TA's and Genie's butt cracks, respectively.  Chally's Moo 1 snaked her long tongue into a nostril and inhaled deeply.  Chally's Moo 2 sneezed and snorted at Genie's scent.  "Moooo-Moooo"

Grahm was only a couple of his long strides behind, and witness the act.  He bellowed out a hardy laugh, "Har-har, Moo Moo make friends!"

Mr. MacGruber brought up the rear, "Ooo-ooo, follow me it's down stairs. Come on!".  MacGruber ran headlong towards the medical centers main entrance, completely oblivious to the scorched folk, forgetting they're dangerous, and unaware he was beginning to become part of the Scorched collective.  He didn't know why he knew where the lab was, only that he knew it was downstairs.
 

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"Eeeek!  Genie squealed.  Immediately putting a hand to her backside and lurching away from the sudden intrusion.  Her hand found a smear of cow snot, she swiped at it and pulled her hand away, with a look of discussed on her face.  The look was there for only a moment, she immediately changed to a look of intrigue. Lowering her chin and raising an eyebrow, she addressed MooMoo with understanding. "The beasty thing's not really my deal Girl, but I know where your coming from". Genie shook the snot from her hand, remover her bandana from her face, and proceeded to swipe her bottom with it.

Genie turned to TA to see how she's doing, and maybe share a laugh about it.  She asked in her normal nasally quawky voice. "Is that 3rd or 2nd base?  Reguardless, two noses in my ass in one day, lucky meee.  Most action 'Down South' ever, and one of them a cow...fancy that.  Sheesh"

Just then MacGruber caught up, and proceeded to head to the med center rambling something about 'He know where it is'.   "How the heck would he..."

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